My sister is seven years younger and for many years she battled with the belief that she was only conceived to replace another sister who died. My battles were different, nonetheless they impacted on her hugely when I was estranged from the family. In her eyes I was no longer the supporting presence in her life and despite our many arguments I was her lifeline, her heroine.
As we journey through life, we all face battles and we often meet them thinking we are alone. I am not sure why we forget that we are loved or that support physically or ethereally is missing. My sister and I were loved unconditionally by our parents who were navigating life and family and trying to the best they could for us.
I still remember being twelve and for Christmas getting my first record player. I felt so grown up. My sister got a big purple elephant. I don’t remember how it happened, but that elephant was mysteriously thrown at the record player and destroyed my precious “David Cassidy” record. I was distraught. My dad responded by telling me the story of the Jungle Book and the ape that wanted to be like the humans and the song “I wanna be like you”. I think my dad even made me listen to the record. He wanted me to know that my sister thought the world of me and wanted to be like me.
I remember being at the local shopping centre and having to sit with my sister watching a pantomime as she refused to be alone. Our mother would shop, and I would be sitting watching Cinderella, with my sister! I have many memories like this and for me my only memory of a sister, is her.
I also remember being so frustrated with my sister that I gave her five cents and told her to go and buy an ice cream. I went back to reading and off she went. I was in charge of looking after her and I was so frightened when she couldn’t be found. My sister was also in tears but for a different reason; she had lost the money.
My sister and I always spoke about wanting to have a business together. We have been fashion designers, nightclub owners, holistic entrepreneurs and agents of change. We wanted to do something together and I don’t think we realised that deep in our hearts we simply wanted connection. When our mother died in July 2019, we came to the realisation that the time to actually start something, was now, but that’s another story.
It’s taken me twenty-five years and the death of both our parents to rediscover the bond, connection and depth of the relationship with my sister. A bond that has always present even if I was unable to notice its presence. We have both journeyed separately and faced battles that we could have faced together. We have faced our inner demons, challenges and become individually stronger. Today however we face life together as sisters. We are a family that has a beautiful and collaborative relationship and we share the laughter, the tears, the frustration and the anger together. We are united in the belief that we are both here to serve and we are passionate about enabling change for other women. We honour the tenants of truth, spiritual wisdom and different ways of knowing and learning.
We are sisters.
Photo Credit by Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash